How crazy is this?! This is my LAST LETTER IN THE MTC!!!!!!! Last Friday we received the most exciting news that our visas are IN and we received our travel plans to Slovenia! I will be leaving the MTC at !!!! I am SO excited to finally go to Slovenia!
My excitement grew 2000 times this week when I met Ann Madsen.. she came to visit the missionaries of the Adriatic North mission. She was best friends with Kresimir Cosic (6 foot 11 inch professional basketball player from Croatia who attended and played for BYU)! She had Skyped our Mission President and Branch Presidents seconds before meeting with us and brought the cutest messages of love, support, and excitement for our arrival! I was almost in tears meeting this sweet lady, because the way she talked about “my new people” made me so excited to arrive!
Today was bitter-sweet as I went to the temple for the last time for 16 months. I cried. not going to the temple for 16 months is harder than not having a phone or anything else I left behind. I love the temple! GO lots for me while I am gone!!!!
This week I grew to love my Savior a whole ton. V sak dan, pomagaj mi, da bom kot ti. (Every day help me to be like thee) and in particular, I was struggling with a lack of self confidence. (It was as shallow as not liking my hair or outfit and as real as being embarrassed to share my thoughts or speak in lessons) It was NOT fun to feel like this especially with my name tag on my chest. I hated it. In my search for confidence again, I found myself reading my Patriarchal Blessing. I was having thoughts like "I have never felt so low about myself! Why am I being treated like this? (small experience with bullying) I'm a missionary! I have a call from God! I don't remember the last time I was treated like a missionary!!" Every week here I have been studying Christ-like attributes. I love studying those! I feel so much joy studying the character and nature of our Savior. So, I turned to studying those again. Immediately I was in tears. I thought "You are so selfish, Sister Higgins! Jesus was never treated like He was the Son of God! You haven't been acting like a missionary since the time you felt like you haven't been treated like one! But Jesus never once wavered from His character!" I was humbled. It is hard to have Christ-like attributes. I love Him so much because I am realizing how hard it is to be like Him. I have never sung "I'm trying to be like Jesus" or "More holiness give me" in my head more than I have this week. I don’t need to be treated like a missionary to act like one! 3 Nephi 27:27 "What manner of Missionary ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am!" As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ and especially as a missionary, I not only promise to take His name upon me but His nature as well. In our devotional this quote was said "those who love Him most, will be most like Him." I will be in my mission field in a short 5 days and I want everyone I meet to know that I know my Savior and how I feel about Him. I don't have all of my self confidence yet.... but I have confidence in my Savior and the message of the restored gospel! And that causes me to stand (how firm a foundation) and for now that is enough. I grew a ton this week. I understand now that the only measure of greatness is how close one is to being like Chirst. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to study and practice His attributes this way. I love being a missionary!
Well, I love you all! I get to go finish packing now! I am currently at 45 lbs and 47 lbs in my suitcases and have not packed a single book! My carry on can only be 18 lbs... pray for me!!!!!! Be happy!
P.S. The subject means: "I'll go where you want me to go" or a direct translation is "I will be exactly where you desire."
P.P.S.... I just want you all to know that I have the world's best parents. I love my dad and mom so much. Take good care of them!